Now a word from the President

 

This afternoon in this room, from this chair, I testified before the Office of Independent Counsel and the grand jury.I answered their questions truthfully, including questions about my private life, questions no American citizen would ever want to answer. Still, I must take complete responsibility for all my actions, both public and private.
 
I was asked questions about my relationship with Serenity Juneberry. I just want to say I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Serenity Juneberry.

This video that has surfaced on Naughty Machinima - I was superimposed into the video, my face and body. The video was stolen from my possession. Police think it's the same bandit who stole Pamela Anderson, Kim Kardahsian and Paris Hilton sex tapes.

I assure you there is no truth to the rumors I have made millions of lindens off the sale of this tape. 

I'm innocent I tell you!

Thank you for watching. And good night.